Dick Cheney Getting Sick and Tired of Bush “Looking into His Heart”

“The President really likes to connect with everyone around him, and I can appreciate that,” stated Vice President Dick Cheney. “I like George Bush. I mean, I have been a lifelong Republican, and I genuinely like President Bush.”

Bush Showing Leadership: Joins Operation Iraqi Freedom Reenactment Group

President Bush has asked all senior White House staff to join his Operation Iraqi Freedom Reenactment Group. The President feels that the country has not seen him in a leadership position since he landed on the aircraft carrier a few years ago. The reenactment SEAL Unit that Bush will lead consists of senior White House staff, few of which have had real military training. “I really hope that I can stay up with George,” said Vice President Dick Cheney. “There are few people that can show leadership the way the President does.”

Recently Sighted Examples of Presidential Bravery

1. Bitch-slapping endangered species.
2. Starting fights then jumping behind secret service
3. Walking through really bad neighborhoods to get coke.
4. Michael Moore Titty Twisters
5. Mentioning presidential record in front of a live audience.
6. Not taking any shit from weaker and more bookish branch of government
7.  Producing two hot daughters
8.  Promising to go topless in next military campaign
9.  Calling himself the Leather Pres
10. Totalitarianism

Christian Too Darn Polite to Bring up Eternal Damnation with coworkers

Steven Michaels, an actuary at Middle Springs Insurance, is too darn polite to bring up his personal belief with Brijesh Binda a friends and coworker that he expects will be damned to hell for his pagan beliefs. “Pastor Rick is always saying that we have to be the light of God in the lives of sinners,” stated Michaels...

NFL Drugs Suspended Over Use of Athletes
From: http:www.mikeszine.com

Several classes of NFL drugs were recently suspended and fined after trace amounts of athletes were found in their systems. The Atlanta Hawks lost all pro cornerback Norbolethone and the Indianapolis Colts lost offensive tackle Tetrahydrogestrinone, a big contributor to their Super Bowl offense. “This is a great loss to the sport of football,” said NFL commissioner Paul Wiseman. “Unfortunately, the NFL cannot tolerate the mixing of world class athletes and banned substances. It violates the entire spirit of the NFL.”

French Muslims Protest "Violent" Sterotype by Burning Paris
From http://www.mikeszine.com

Tired of being stereotyped as followers of a violent religion, several groups of angry North Africans Muslims burned and looted multiple Paris suburbs on Saturday. Raging packs of youth threw Molotov cocktails at police and lit an elderly handicapped woman on fire to protest their bad perception with the French public. The riots started shortly after a pair of teenagers -- afraid of being stereotyped as illiterate -- ran directly into a clearly marked electrical transformer and were killed.  “Jihad!” screamed a 16-year-old Muslim youth. I plan to overdose on heroin next year to protest the popular misconception that we are all drug addicts.

Ossama Bin Laden Makes Surprise Cameo Appearance in Beheading Video
From http://www.mikeszine.com

By: Mohammad of (Al-Amana Brigade 9)

Editorial: How to Choose a Hip Hop Name
from: Mike Editor or Mike's Zine

If you’re like me, you too dream of a life spent in a fur-lined hot tub with an AK in one hand and a big tittied stripper in the other, the worries of work and paternity suits left far behind. Yes, many people dream of a future in the Hip Hop industry...