current issue number (3) : January 2003 (give or take a month)

Announcing the new Ford Womanizer!
SUV Humor, Car Humor, Environmental Humor Humor

SUV Humor, Car Humor, Environmental Humor Humor

For half a century the Ford Motor Company has been increasing the perceived size of male genitalia through our line of trucks, sports cars and SUVs. We have been the first to market with technologies such as four-wheel-drive and eight-cylinder engines.

It is from this proud tradition that we announce the new Ford Womanizer, our next generation of penis-enhancing mega-roadster. The first of its kind, the Womanizer is an all-terrain military-grade luxury sports coupe with 24 cylinders of throbbing masculine power at your command. Whether you’re an orthodontist cruising a singles bar for a woman half your age or a military commando that needs to raze a third world village in the name of freedom, this is the vehicle for you.

The 04’ Ford Womanizer can accelerate from 0 to 60 mph in 2.3 seconds, with seating for 37 and five and a half feet of leg room. The womanizer creates the new standard in misogyny.

The vehicle comes standard with 7.1 channel stereo surround sound, anabolic steroids, Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue, gangster rap, Roofies and a surface to air missile system. The Womanizer makes fuel efficiency a thing of the past while increasing your pussy-getting coefficient by twenty to forty percent (disclaimer: dependent on pre- existing pussy-getting coefficient).

In addition, the Womanizer is the first vehicle of its kind that allows you to urinate while standing up and chew tobacco while driving. Crush lesser men, lesser vehicles and give yourself an evolutionary advantage with the new Ford Womanizer.

SUV Humor, Car Humor, Environmental Humor Humor