current issue number (4) : Febuary 2003 (give or take a month) ANARCHIST HUMOR, PROGRESSIVE POLITICS, HEMP MOVEMENT

Rapid City Anarchist Volume 2: Hemp powered Anarchy!!!!!

Hi all, it’s George Steeple, the most dangerous man in Rapid City (according to Harvest Mall security). I’ve just completed my half pipe and have some time on my hands. The half pipe is super fucking cool so check it out if you go by my mom’s house. The Anarchist Revolution is almost upon us, my faithful comrades and don’t worry, George Steeple is fully prepared to lead the working class into paradise.

The beautiful thing about Anarchy is the way that it brings the working class together against the oppressive fascist structure. Whether you’re an art student, snowboarder, Henry Rollins groupie, or runaway alternative youth sleeping at the arcade, the Anarchist Revolution has a place for you. I spent the last month educating myself. No, not doing homework for earth science (Fascist lies if you ask me!). I spent my time learning about Anarchy! Boy, did I have a lot to learn!

Last year, when I was a freshman, I had all kinds of misconceptions about Anarchy. I thought that after the revolution you would be able to walk into any Seven Eleven, with your skateboard no less, and grab the super size bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. You could just walk out of the store enjoying your favorite snack chip and not pay a cent. All the good stuff would be owned by the working class like you and me. If some fascist Seven Eleven clerk grabbed your arm and threatened to call your mom at work you could just say “Bite me, you fascist ass muncher. Anarchy is here!!!”

That was what I used to think. When I was a freshman, I could not have been more wrong. This was before I met Ken Cruze, head of the Rapid City Hemp Movement! Ken explained that we needed all kinds of things like clothes and power plants to keep Anarchy working properly. Without power from the power plants the Slurpee machine would not work at Seven Eleven, and you would not be able to properly enjoy your chips! I used to think smoking a bowl once in a while was just a fun way to pass the time until Jackass came on. Ken explained that pot was much more important than that.

You can make ponchos and stupid looking hats from it. Pot, or hemp, as Ken calls it is the best source of energy that mankind has ever found. The entire world could run on the power generated from like one hemp-powered plant. The only reason that no one can use hemp for power is because the government is run by fascists who make money by selling us oil. Now you know, and you heard it from the Rapid City Anarchist. I always figured that after the Anarchist revolution we were going to need a shitload of pot. You know, to chill everyone out and meet hot skater chicks. I never realized that we would also need it to run our power plants! Well you heard it here first, comrades. Until the next issue, skate hard, smoke a bowl and keep reading the Rapid City Anarchist!

ANARCHIST HUMOR, PROGRESSIVE POLITICS, HEMP MOVEMENT