current issue number (4) : Febuary 2003 (stripper humor, stripper jokes)

Mike's Guide to Stip Clubs

If you're like me, a good lap dance once a week keeps the old juices flowin', so to speak. I spent the last several years dedicating myself to gaining a fuller understanding of this lucrative industry. I have been a patron of the erotic arts for a while, and I would just like to give a little advice to those young gals coming up in the field. Whether you’re a single mom with four kids and no child support or a teenage runaway looking for a quick buck to score some speed at the bus station, the exciting world of erotic dancing can be a lucrative career choice.

Becoming an erotic dancer is a dream for many girls but for those that have the stamina, vision and dedication for the long hours and pole-chaffing routines, there may be a dirty wad of twenties in your future. The first step to becoming an erotic dancer is choosing a good stage name. Your nom-de-plume, should be exciting, exotic and as any professional dancer will tell you, classy. Names that fall into these categories include fruit, cars and precious stones.

The Fruit Category: Not all fruits make good names for dancer. For instance, who wants some chick named Bananas or Apricot grinding on the old Johnson, not me. Choose a cute name like Cherry or Peaches, and watch the money pour out of your G-string.

The Car Category: Vrrrrooom! Vrrrrooom! Combine a man’s two favorite hobbies -- fast cars and faster women -- and you have a sure-fire winner! The best car names are the really expensive ones like Porsche or Mercedes. Remember to stay away from American brands. While, like me, you may be the proud owner of a Dodge Aries K or Plymouth Sundance these would be poor choices for stage names.

The Precious stones Category: As a general rule the more expensive the stone, the better the stage name. No one will every get sick of names like Diamond, Sapphire, Ruby or Opal.

If you really want to get creative try combining your real name with a defining characteristic. If your name starts with a B you have plenty of choices from Busty Brenda to Belinda BigUns. If your name starts with an M try Mandy Mountains or Misty Mounds. As usual my readers love to play the games that we include in every issue. Here are a few games for those of you that are regulars at the old tittie bar.

Who’s your daddy? This question has been a favorite of strip club customers for generations. Many strippers can easily identify their fathers; however, their own children may find the task a bit more challenging.

Guess what’s in my pocket: This game is fairly easy, but I never get sick of playing it with my favorite lap dancer

Strip Club Rodeo: As an erotic dancer things can occasionally get a little slow around the old tittie bar. Your customers will always appreciate a little humor with the old bump and grind. Wait till the middle of your next lap dance and then mention these seven little words and see how long your can hold on! “Is that your wife at the door?” Ride 'em Buckaroo!

She’s really into me! This game requires 2-6 balding overweight middle-age men, and an ability to believe in the impossible.

(stripper humor, stripper jokes)