Pretty Boy Humor, Pretty Boy

About Being Pretty from the Prettiest Boy in the Third Grade

I am definitively the prettiest boy in the third grade. Last year in second grade, the contest for the prettiest boy award could have gone to Timmy (someone said he looked like one of the Back Street Boys but I thought his hair kinda looked funny and was not really moussed in a professional way). I’m sure that I probably would have won the prettiest boy award in second grade if the school had given out prizes for prettiest boy.

This year in third grade, Miss Thang, (my friend Jennifer) decided that we should run a Prettiest Boy in the third grade contest ourselves. We asked Mrs. Romaski if we could make it a class project or maybe create a test to see who was the prettiest (that way it would be official). Mrs. Romaski told us that it was not appropriate for school. I tried to argue with her. The prettiest boy contest could be an excellent learning experience, not only would all the boys and their parents learn how pretty they are, but they could plan future careers with that knowledge. For instance, Mikey Skiles is not very pretty and for some reason he might think that like one day they might put a picture of him in Seventeen Magazine (gagging sound, wait…, wait…., more gagging sound). If he knew that he was not pretty then he would not bother trying to get into the five page pictorial in Seventeen. That could save Mikey a lot of time that he could use for other things that might make him prettier.

When I win the prettiest boy in the third grade, other pretty boys would come over to my house to see how pretty I am. This is good ’cause I could meet Nick Carter, minus one Britney Spears, (who was not really good enough for Nick Carter if you ask me). I was so happy when I found out they were no longer together. From one pretty boy to another: Nick, (gagging sound, wait…, wait…., more gagging sound).

I’ve been trying to form a new band to sing songs about boys that are pretty in my school. I got Timmy to join the band but I had to get rid of him when his mother did not spend enough on his hair. What can I say? Sorry Timmy, lost again.

Pretty Boy Humor, Pretty Boy