(rap humor, hip hop humor)

How to choose a Rap Star Name

http://www.mikeszine.com

If your like me you too dream of a life spent in a fur lined hot tub with an AK in one hand and a big tittied stripper in the other, the worries of work and paternity suites left far behind. Yes, many people dream of a future in the hip hop industry. Well as any good MC will tell you half the battle is choosing the right name. There is no need to stay up all night scratching your head and trying to find something that rhymes with Clitoris. (My suggestion would be Chuck Norris or possibly Tyrannosaurus) 

The prestigious editorial staff at Mike’s Zine has come up with several patented techniques for finding your perfect hip hop nome-de-plume. A good name will indicate you are a good rapper, that you got skills, got bills and now how to give pip style thrills.

Automatic Weapons – Mac Ao

Pro:  No one ever disrespects a man that names himself after a weapon that’s slaughtered thousands of innocent people. Hard to find weapons, with a faster firing rate and less accurate targeting seem to be the best choice.

Con: There are only so many good automatic weapon names. It can be hard to distinguish yourself with so many other Mac 10s and AKs around these days. Drive By and Mistaken Identity are two words that shouldn’t ever go together.

Example: “Mac 10, AK, Ready to play. Someone get me my motherfucken DJ”

Felonies

Pro: The name is even more intimidating than automatic weapons. Felonies are also versatile for rhyming schemes. You can rhyme with the name of the felony, the police call sign for the felony or the sentence that the fellony

Con: Takes all the guess work away from Police work.

 “Who do you think killed them Sgt. Kelleyt? Clarence, Dion or MC Triple Homicide.” 

It has always been my thought that anyone that is stupid enough to name themselves after a crime they commit deserves to be in jail. You don’t see bankers naming themselves MC Embezzlement.

Pimpin  

Pro: Gives the illusion of having many cheap women around. If you get rich as a hip hop star you probably will have many loose women around. You can accessorize all you want and no one will ever cricize your taste

Con: Bad for long term relationships.  No one wants to find out that their daughter is dating MC Trick Daddy.

(rap humor, hip hop humor)